All in the space of one week, we’ve got Read Across America Day (March 2), National Grammar Day (March 4), and National Proofreading Day (March 8).

It’s a writer/editor’s dream week. Except that, well, every day is Grammar Day for me—nights, weekends, holidays, you name it.

And I’m married to a writer/editor, which makes the whole situation even worse. (Or better? I’m not sure.)

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DISCLAIMER: What I am about to present to you will be unpleasant. Side effects may include migraine, shortness of breath, and suicidal thoughts… if you’re an editor, that is. Continue at your own risk.

What you are about to read is an actual cover letter submitted for a full-time job – a job in the company’s communications department. It’s not just bad; it could be mistaken for spam if it hadn’t arrived with a completed application and a résumé. Check it out:

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Now you can tell your friends about your ridic weekend with your tweeps when you were photobombing young couples on a date night (lolz!) without sounding like a total douche.

How can this be? you ask.

The Oxford Dictionaries Online officially recognized a bunch of words used primarily in the web-realm. They’ve been around for a while, so you probably know a lot of them. But now even the dictionary says they’re legit.

Here are a few that made the cut: